we I hate to love to run.
Some weeks will be spectacular while other weeks will suck the biggest donkey balls I can fit in my mouth (yes I did just say donkey balls in my mouth because you and I both know that’s about as sucky it can get). Last week was one of those “for the love of all that is pure and good I fucking hated running”. The sad part about this statement is that it happened during a week of the most awesome weather I’ve seen since arriving in Halifax. I believe the Haligonians thought it was the Armageddon because it was so unusually warm (77ish). For the last 10 weeks of this marathon training I’ve been running in temperatures anywhere between 32F all the way down to -6F…On occasion its warmed up to a lovely 45F and you’ll have found me running in as little as possible since I’ve been bundled to the nine each and every time I run.
Except this last week. Sunny, warm and not a snowflake in sight and I couldn’t get my ass motivated to do even the smallest miles of training. Now before I go on a rant about how for me a short run is now about 6 miles, I know for many people 6 miles still feels like an unacheivable dream. Trust me I remember what it was like not that long ago to cry the first time I ran for 3 minutes straight and how I panicked the first time I was supposed to run for 20 minutes non stop in the couch to 5k program. Those memories are never far from my thoughts each and every time I run. For those of you that look at my 6 miles and think “Holy crap that’s not a short run”, I do the same for those runners who’s “short” run is a constant half marathon…Someday that half marathon run will be a short run for me as those 6 miles will be for a newbie runner today…
Crap, where was I?
Right, so the weather was beautiful and I couldn’t muster up one ounce of enthusiasm for my training. I’ve made some pretty major changes to my eating lately and if I could point a finger at what was the major downfall for the lack of love in both the running and just in general I would say it was the shift in food. I’ve been trying to be very aware of the changes both physically and emotionally over the last 11 days as my body detoxed the sugars and grains and whatever else it needed to get rid of as I focused on a more Paleo palate. When the Moose run came last Sunday I was in day 4 of the shift and the miles did a number on my body. Tired and headachy from the detox and emotional like it was no one’s business made me feel like quitting all together on this idea of becoming a marathoner as soon as I crossed the finish line…
But one must have patience.
Much in the same way I had to give my body time to adjust to the changes when I was first counting calories, reading labels and watching what I put in my mouth to lose weight (and that literally took months), I needed to let my body (and mind – emotions) work themselves out. The only way I can describe it is like putting a glass dome over my body just big enough for me to stretch out my arms and then for the first 7 days of detoxing ramming my body against the glass at full force. One minute I’d be standing there and then the next BAM right into the glass side…I tried to keep to a my running schedule as much as possible but each time it was like running with lead legs.
Eventually ( around day 8 ) the clouds parted and I was feeling much more back to myself. This last Saturday the schedule put me on a 12 mile run and I was prepared for it to suck as much as the other times thinking it was still going to take some time for my body to catch up with all the Paleo changes…
I almost didn’t run. I almost talked myself into just letting this one go because what I didn’t want was a repeat of the Moose Run. Even though this wasn’t a “technical” race, those long runs are like individual races and the finish line is waiting for you at your front door from where you left a little over two hours ago. I found a route that I had been on before that actually goes out much farther than first anticipated (it’s one of those rails to trails thingy) and once you’re out there, you’re out there. Six miles away from home can seem like forever if you’re tired, and in the most outrageous hate part of your running relationship.
I went out on Saturday expecting the worst. I thought for sure I’d get as far out as possible and have to call Meegan to come pick me up. In fact I was okay with that. I know changes take time. I felt the shift happening, the raising of the glass dome if you will so I knew everything was moving in the right direction…I knew my body was detoxing the way it should. I knew the emotions were coming back under control and most importantly the headaches and the foot pain that seemed to have reared its ugly head in a hot hot manner of painful shittiness (a whole other blog post: Plantar Fasciitis inflammation caused by dairy/grains) were dissipating. On Wednesday of last week I could barely walk from the pain…By Saturday I could get out of bed with hardly a second thought to pain in my feet (but I digress).
Now I’m not saying this 12 mile run was the most amazing run ever. It wasn’t by a long shot, but it was way way WAY better than the Moose Run only a week ago and it was way way WAY better than the shorter runs I had been doing during the week. Overall my pace is still not where I want it to be (this particular run was 10:54 min/mile) but the nike+ shows some nice consistent running at some pretty good clicks.
11 days into a full commitment of Paleo and I see some positive changes happening not only in my running (though I need a few more miles to make that an official statement) but also just in my overall physical and emotional well being. The following statement might be too much information but hell it’s my blog and seriously I’m all about giving the 411 even if it’s a little too much for readers: The first thing I noticed immediately was my bathroom experience. Everything is coming out much better…enough on that as you probably get the idea. My body feels leaner and from what Meegan says it looks leaner. She even went as far as to say it looked like it was getting back to the “JTS” bootcamp days (that’s where I was going before coming to Halifax). The past two days I’ve been touching my little skin pooch on my tummy because it feels smaller and you know when you lose a significant amount of weight you are always touching the extra skin. For me to think it feels smaller means it is in fact smaller. These aren’t big changes physically but enough for me to stand up and take notice.
Emotionally I feel much more balanced today than I did the first few days of full Paleo commitment and even more balanced than I did before deciding to go full Paleo. What started out as a “I wonder if I can actually do this and I wonder what will be the outcome” is turning into a “hmmmmm, I never realized there might be a medical necessity but now I am starting to see the benefits of going full Paleo”…
And this is only day 11.