Seriously, this is my mantra right now…
(Mostly the BREATHE part)
Life knows how to get hectic and it knows how to do it like a BOSS.
Blog posts are coming fewer and farther in between and right now non-existent over at TheHDD. 24 hours in the day are broken into train, work, sleep and in between stuffing my pie hole with enough food to keep me nourished while not freaking out over letting go of calorie counting for the next couple of weeks.
This blog post is more about playing catch up. Today should have been a long training day but I opted out, deciding instead to sit down at Starbucks for a few hours and just practice the breathing part of my life. So much happening and so little time to just step out of the way and take a good long look at what the heck is going on.
I’m a little (and by a little I mean more than just a little) frustrated at what happened with my blog recently. When I decided to go self hosted a few years back I had people that I knew “build” it for me. Now let me preface this by saying, I have no idea what it means to build internetty things (read “Tara is clueless”). I nod my head and say “sure that sounds great” and before I know it ALifeChangingJourney.com is born. A few weeks ago I was perusing my pages and noticed half of my progress pictures are broken…
Then I notice that most of my pictures all over my blog are broken.
I make the necessary contacts and discover that working relationships are no longer relationship-y and definitely not working. Remaining person doesn’t know what happen to my pictures and for the last few weeks I’ve just looked at the broken links and wondered “What the fuck?!” It upsets me to the point that I’ve seriously considered taking the blog down for good. My entire life since deciding to lose this weight for once and for a lifetime is here. Those pictures are important to me. My blog looks messy. It looks like I don’t know what I’m doing (which I don’t since I can’t figure out how to get them back, even after trying to re-upload them). I get all teary eyed every time I check the pictures in *HOPES* that they would magically reappear.
I have some ideas shuffling around in my head about wanting to change the format of this blog to a more “outwardly” focused theme. This life changing journey of mine is just one story. There are
hundreds, thousands,…countless of other life changing journeys out there and think this would be a great platform for people sharing their stories. But it’s hard to want to make the leap when all through out my blog I’m reminded that, I don’t even know how to fix my broken pictures and can’t seem to get someone to help me.
One month from now I’ll be packing up my Dusty with Peppermint Patty and with the support of Mimi and my friend Leanne driving to Mont Tremblant Quebec to step up to the Half Ironman starting line. This is where I am mostly trying to practice the breathing part. Training isn’t as productive as I had hoped it would be 4 weeks out but it is coming along. I have to keep reminding myself that above all else, I will do the best that I can and if that means I have to hobble over the finish line, it’s going to be the best fucking hobble anyone has ever seen. At this point I’m looking more forward to it coming, going and not having too much on my proverbial plate after that. I’ve got other races set up for the year but this is the BIG one and it is coming at me head on and at this point all I can do is plant my feet firmly where I stand and trust that my fears will subside the moment I begin earning that 70.3 and that my strength will carry me to the moment they place that finishers medal around my neck.
In the midst of all the chaos of training and working (and shoving food into my pie hole), Mimi and I are frantically packing up our belongings and moving to a new apartment…
(As if we didn’t have enough on our plates!)
Days are filled with get to the gym, get to work, and now throw some shit in a box (or many boxes) and drop it off at our new place in time for the sub-letter to move into our current home at the end of the month. All the while trying to find some quiet time to spend with Mimi and practice that ever loving skill of breathing. The new place is bigger, better and about as kick ass as you can hope for (think old gramma house with original tiling/wall paper). 18 months ago Mimi found the place we’re currently in all on her own (cause it’s hard to apartment shop together with 3500 miles separating you). We both love the apartment we’re in now but there are little things that are beginning to irk us. This new place not only has a lot of potential to shape into our “perfect” place, it also comes with two very good friends that live in the apartment above us. We’re actually moving into a house that’s been converted into three apartments with ours being the main floor flat. We can’t be more thrilled and planting our feet firmly into this new place and staying for a while!
So over the next couple of weeks while the blog posts may even come fewer and farther in between it’s only because a shit ton of stuff is happening all at once. I’m still going to be trying to figure out what the hell happened to my pictures, think about changing directions with the blog and training my ass off for Mont Tremblant.
Until then; remember to breath!