A little over a week ago I took on the idea of changing the Amica half marathon into a full marathon if I could reach a certain amount of donations in my Team in Training fundraising. For three days I lost sleep, I didn’t eat and I gained three pounds due to the stress of actually thinking I could do it. At the end of those three days I realized something important:
This wasn’t fun anymore.
It was stressful. It was negatively impacting how I felt about myself. I was already in November when I should be sitting firmly in August. My Saturday run with Team in Training was plagued with thoughts of “This is only 5 miles..how in the hell are you going to get to 26.2?” Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of being the distraught fat girl comes back to save the world theory but this is not the time nor the place for me to don my orange body armor and cape with the neon BBee flashing the sky announcing my arrival.
I need this journey to be fun. I need this journey to be slow paced enough for me to learn what works and to examine what doesn’t work. I need this journey to be about pushing boundaries and setting goals that are not only attainable but also achievable in a safe manner. I need to remember that 8 months ago I weighed 263 pounds and couldn’t run a damn block. I need to remember that this is my journey and my negative thoughts that people will be disappointed in me if I didn’t run a full marathon are just that: my thoughts.
I am sticking with the half marathon.
I’ve only been on this journey for 8 months. Why am I trying to hurry to that 26.2 finish line? By the time the Amica comes around I’ll have run 6 races, one triathlon and lost approximately 40% of my body weight. Not bad for a beginner…
Next year will be a good time to aim for a 26.2
This is a good year to aim for 13.1
This is a good year to have fun!