Moving outside the box…

There is a lot of comfort being a part of a gym.

Knowing exactly how much time you’ll be there, what equipment you’re going to conquer or where you’ll stand in a room full of fellow zumba(ers). I love going in the morning with Meegan to our “boot camp” class and seeing familiar faces as we get ready to leave some serious sweat on the floor. I love knowing for at least 45 minutes someone is going to tell me what to do, how to do it and for how long. It’s easy to follow directions when someone like me relies on them to function on a basic level.

Unfortunately you can’t really spend 4+ hours on a treadmill when your marathon training says you should be running 20 miles. Well, let me rephrase that; you could spend that long on a treadmill but unless they have something especially good on the television in front of you, you’re gonna get bored pretty easy, pretty quickly.

This past weekend was my last long run before the Maritime Races happen September 14th/15th. It’s no secret that this summer has seen me struggle getting those higher miles in as I learned to run in humidity and heat I’ve never experienced before. The weekend before I really needed (and by needed I mean not only physically but emotionally AND mentally) to hit the 17 mile mark because each time before I would peter out around the 14 mile and every week I was feeling less prepared and more anxious about the marathon. Having completed the 17 mile run and feeling strong about it I was (wait for it…..) actually looking forward to this past weekend and the elusive 20 miler!

It was a great run and I ran it as if I was running a marathon. I decided to do the entire thing doing a 9 min run / 1 min walk interval as I’m pretty sure this is going to be my plan of attack come marathon weekend (and the subsequent marathon three weeks after this one).  I wanted to keep it at a faster pace than my first marathon because with the cross training I’ve been doing for the last few months my endurance is better but not wanting to push it so that I was barely functional by the time I hit the 16/17 mile mark.

The best thing about this run is I did it without music (which is almost unheard of) and I didn’t have to take any pictures (which means I was out of my head for most of the run). These are pretty significant. I kept a good pace and wanted to finish in 4 hours and managed to hit the 20 mile mark at 3:52…This one is going down as a spectacular run!

The next morning Meegan and I decided to go for a long hike instead of running a 5k with our local running club. Sometimes you just have to move your body in a slower much more deliberate way to really understand how strong your body is. It wasn’t a easy hike either. It was harder than we anticipated but we committed finishing the hike. It was breath taking and unless you’re willing to commit to the hike (all the way around) you won’t see the view that we saw over the course of 3+ hours.

When I weighed 270 pounds a hike like this would have scared the bejeezus out of me. I probably would have tried to come up with every excuse in the book not to get outside and move. I would have rather of spent 4 hours sitting at my laptop playing World of Warcraft looking at a computer generated environment than the one that was readily available to me if I chose to just go outside for a bit.

I kept thinking about how so many people will never see what I got to see during the hike because the idea of moving that long is intimidated and the hike itself was challenging. Every time I came to a large rock I had to step up in order to keep going I put my hands on my thighs and felt my muscles contract as they worked hard to move me forward.

Some of the “trail” you could only get to by crossing close to the ocean and on the rocks carried in by the water. I appreciated the balance and core strength I’ve gained by moving my body in ways I never imagined even just three years ago. It’s hard to believe that I  three years ago I would have passed up an opportunity like this because I didn’t want to move my body in a forward motion towards making life changes.

When we took rest breaks from climbing up and tromping through the 13km (8 mile) hike I wasn’t exhausted and needed to sit to catch my breath. I need to sit and catch the view (and munch on some almonds!). I wasn’t irritated that my legs were rubbing together or that I was sweating profusely. I wasn’t upset that I had stepped in boggy mud and almost taken off my shoe.

I was outside.

I was moving.

I’ve spent countless hours inside my entire life. As a child I would sit in my room and watch the small black and white television eating bags of marshmallows or cans of pie filling from the moment I got home from school until my eyes were heavy with sleep and it was well past my bedtime. I had friends but you just don’t want to have to explain why your mom is never home and why you don’t ever get called home for dinner. What brought me comfort as a child brought me comfort as an adult. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I turned down opportunities to just be outside with people. Socially awkward and growing fatter by the year, the phone stopped ringing and I stopped wondering if I would ever make changes…

The best part about this hike?

Being with someone who believes in moving outside the box as much as I do. This wasn’t an easy hike for Meegan but like a trooper she kept at it until we finished. It’s kind of a milestone for her to be able to get out there and move for long periods of time like we did this weekend. She may not be as strong as she was before the accident but she is stronger today than even last month. She kept saying “who am I?” when we traversed rocks or climb over trees in order to keep going…

Isn’t that the real question?

Who we were are people that didn’t care much about our bodies. We didn’t think much about the food we ate. We didn’t think much about the lack of movement as our bodies reached morbid obesity and we settled ourselves to “hiking” down a path of sadness, complacency and ultimately a world that didn’t include us being together. But who we are today is a product of moving, of thinking, of caring enough about ourselves to stand up and take control…

Who are you today?