A Birthday Wish…

Today is my birthday.

This is a picture of me last December.

I had just turned 40.

I weighed at least 265 pounds.

Funny how when I look at this picture now all I can think is “This girl has no idea what’s coming…” I mean seriously, she has no idea how much her life is going to change in the next 12 months. She has no idea that in just a few short days from when this picture is taken she’s going to have one fleeting thought that will change her life forever:

“I wonder what the calorie count in Pho is?”

She has no idea that from Googling the calorie count of her favorite Friday afternoon lunch she’s going to make a small decision that is going to plant a seed that will grow and root inside of her heart, her body and her spirit:

“I’m going to take the stairs from now on”

She has no idea, she’s going to lose a little weight and then do something amazing: She’s going to start running. She has no idea how hard those first weeks of c25k are going to be and how embarrassed she’s going to feel running up and down the water front wondering if the entire world is laughing at her. She also has no idea how awesome she’s going to feel the first time she straps on a race number and walks her first half marathon in May and then follows that up with running her first 5k at the end of that month.

She has no idea how many tears she’s going to cry or how she’s going to be afraid of believing in herself. She has no idea the countless hours she’ll spend looking in the mirror wondering who is the person emerging before her very eyes. She has no idea the blog posts that she’ll write that will move her from her past to finally looking forward into the future that is nothing but shining with possibilities. She has no idea of the people…oh the people that are going to come into her life and shape her, change her, motivate her and love her beyond anything she’s ever imagined.

She has no idea.

She has no idea that she will come to love moving so much, she’s going to complete 10 races before the end of the 2010. Some of them will be double digit. Some of them will be really fast. Some of them will include swimming, biking and running. Some will be in costume. Some of them will come with medals. All of them will come with a sense of accomplishment as she crosses over each finish line and wonders “what can I do next”. She has no idea that the body she’s carrying in that picture will begin to change shape, grow muscles and get down 166 pounds on her 41st birthday.

She has no idea how hard this journey is going to be and how much she’s going to learn about herself. She has no idea that she’s going to learn to stay in the moment and understand that the past is the past and there is nothing she can do to change what happened but that she is going to change what will happen and she is going to change it in a big way.

She has no idea that the birthday wish she had on the day that picture was taken was about to be laid out before her and by the time her 41st birthday comes around…

 

12/07/2010

I’ll be waiting for her.

 

33 comments to A Birthday Wish…

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