National blogging day of silence.
Countless bloggers will sit down at their laptops and either a) post a picture stating they are participating or b) post a blog. As I saw the beginnings of the conversation about who will be participating and who will not I immediately began to get angry. I understand the need to feel we’re taking action and showing respect by taking words down off our blogs. I understand the heavy hearted feelings as we wake up this Monday morning and try to find some sense in another senseless act of violence. I understand the extra lingering pause at the front of a school yard as we listen to the laughter of those that are still innocent enough not to realize how sad the world can be at times.
I don’t have kids so I can’t even try to begin to understand what it would feel like to watch my own children sleep in their beds as I whispered an intimate “thank you” to whatever belief I held in my heart.
I don’t want to come off as insensitive.
But will the proverbial you also have a day of blogging silence for those that are suffering today? Tomorrow? Next week? We are compelled to stop and remember because the act in and of itself was so heinous the media deemed it newsworthy. But will you stop and remember all the other heinous acts that are occurring at the very moment you are reading this blog? At the very moment you are writing your next blog? Will you stop and remember the people who will never make it into the news because their senseless death wasn’t sensational enough to even bother with? As those candles being lit for the vigils around the country in memory of what happened this weekend go out, will you light another candle for the homeless person who is dying alone in the streets? Will you light one in memory of the small child that died in the arms of a mother whose only wish every morning is that there will be another tomorrow…another hour…another minute…another second. Will you light one for those that die in the line of any kind of duty but their names are never mentioned? Will you light one for the aging woman with Alzheimer’s who’s family is surrounding her silently wishing for her (their) suffering to end.
Participating in the national day of blogging silence means you are aware of your surroundings.
But will the proverbial you continue to be aware?
I choose to do this blog post for many reasons. I have friends that are directly affected by what has happened. Living in the small town that will never be the same again. I am indirectly affected because everywhere I turn I am reminded how sad this place can be some days. I choose to blog today because even in my anger at what I don’t understand I find the much needed comfort when I open my laptop, take a deep breath and lay my heart out for my small and insignificant world to see.
I am insignificant.
We are insignificant.
Until the media deems us important.
Instead of being silent I will allow my emotions to be held out in my hands in hope that someone will stand next to me and also hold out their hands. I will not be silenced today because it is through this blog that I’ve learned to live, to love and to laugh.
To be compassionate.
To be patient.
To understand myself.
To understand you.
When I close this laptop the events of this past weekend will not have any less meaning because I choose to not participate in this 24 hour moratorium of silence. For me the events of this weekend will have more meaning as I engage people with a heartfelt “Merry Christmas”. As I open the door for someone and smile as they walk past me. As I look into the eyes of my beautiful wife and whisper “I love you” as we hug tight in the middle of the kitchen trying to find comfort and understanding in a world of chaos and confusion.
For the rest of my life there will be things that are never forgotten because the media has done it’s job by sensationalizing those events that draw the ratings. This is one of them. I don’t have a choice but to remember.
May I never forget the suffering of those that I will never know even happened.